Too Many Ranmas!
by John Tannius
Summary: What happens when a cursed Ranma falls into the spring of drowned twins, not once but twice!? (Beware of crossovers) Fixed upload, should read ok now.


Too Many Ranmas  
  
*Caution, the following story is the result of reading too many fanfics until the early hours of the morning. It is likely to be confusing and incoherent but no more than most fanfics. Disclaimer: All Ranma ½ characters are property of Rumiko Takahashi. Maybe we should write a petition to get her to write more Ranma so we don't have to keep writing these awful fanfics ne? *  
  
-------------------- Prologue: --------------------  
  
A familiar scene. Akane, Nabiki, and Kasumi are sitting across the dinner table from their father Soun.  
  
"And if one of you were to marry him the future of the Tendo School of martial arts would be secure." Soun said.  
  
"Oh my, I hope he's older. Younger men are so. young." Kasumi said.  
  
"How can you even think of marrying us to a.a.boy?!" Akane said angrily.  
  
"Would you rather marry a girl? Besides maybe he's cute." Nabiki teased.  
  
"Nabiki! You know that's not what I meant!" Akane snapped.  
  
Suddenly there was a noise from the door being opened. "Damn it Pops! Put her down!" a voice yelled.  
  
"That must be them." Soun exclaimed. Him and Nabiki got up and ran down the hallway with Akane and Kasumi following farther behind.  
  
Nabiki and Soun came running back with a look of terror on their faces. Around the corner comes a large Chinese panda with a girl slung over his shoulder. Another girl and two boys are walking beside the panda. They were all dressed identically in red Chinese shirts and black silk trousers. One of the boys had black hair the other had red hair. The same went for the two girls.  
  
"Are these your friends?" Kasumi asked.  
  
Soun shook his head negative, as the panda grew closer.  
  
"C'mon Pops put me down, you're scaring them!" The black haired girl yelled.  
  
Growling softly the panda complied. Both boys and girls lined up and bowed politely. "We're Ranma Saotome. Sorry about this."  
  
There was a collective faint from the Tendo family.  
  
-------------------- Chapter I: Cursing yourself for fun and profit. --------------------  
  
Akane was the first to recover. She sat up and noticed that one of the girls, the redhead, was tending to her.  
  
"Are you ok?" the redhead asked.  
  
Akane nodded, "Yeah, I think so. I'm Akane. Did you really say you were all named Ranma?"  
  
The girl sighed and hung her head, "Yes, it's a long story and we'll tell it as soon as everyone is up and about again."  
  
Akane perked up a bit, "You study martial arts right?" There was a nod, "Great, do you want to spar while we wait?"  
  
Ranma smiled and nodded again, "Hey guys, I'm gonna go spar with Akane for a minute."  
  
The other girl Ranma gave a look that suggested mild jealousy, one of the boy Ranmas was staring at Akane and made her blush self consciously, the last Ranma just shrugged. "Don't be too hard on her, its just practice. She's not Shampoo."  
  
Akane was puzzled. *Shampoo? Of course I'm not a hair care product. * They went out to the Dojo as the rest of the Tendo family came around. After they had left an un-transformed Genma came out from the kitchen with a kettle of water.  
  
In the Dojo, Akane and Ranma faced off from each other. Akane lunged with a basic martial arts punch that Ranma easily dodged. Akane then tried a roundhouse kick that was jumped over. She began an all out attack but none of her punches or kicks connected. *Is she reading my moves? * she thought. Finally in anger she punched as hard and fast as she could, hitting the wall of the dojo as Ranma leapt into the air and landed behind her. Ranma crouched down and leg swept Akane onto her butt. She then punched quickly towards Akane's face and stopped half a centimeter from her nose. Akane gulped, realizing that had been a killing move that had been restrained with the utmost control.  
  
Ranma stood back up and bowed before offering a hand to help Akane up.  
  
"Wow, you're really good!" Akane said.  
  
"Well, I have to admit I was holding back a lot. You show a lot of potential though. If we decide to stick around for a while maybe I could train you." Ranma offered.  
  
"I'd like that. I'm just glad you're a girl."  
  
"Huh? Why's that?" Ranma asked.  
  
"I'd just hate it if I was beaten so easily by a boy."  
  
Ranma rolled her eyes, "Akane, let's go inside with the others, we need to talk."  
  
Everyone was seated around the table inside. Kasumi was serving tea and cookies. Redhead girl Ranma sat down next to black haired boy Ranma and began drooling over the cookies.  
  
"Ugh, you stink girl. Go take a bath before you run us out of here." He said.  
  
Girl Ranma sighed and got back up. "I suppose you're right. Save me a cookie though. You know how the rest of us are." She got a glare from the other girl and a tongue sticking out from the other boy.  
  
Kasumi smiled and led the girl to the bath. Akane had watched all this and realized she must reek as well. She ran upstairs for her bath supplies.  
  
Ranma poured a bucket of cold water over herself to wash the shampoo from her hair. She began to scrub her back when she heard the door slide open and looked up to see Akane enter. She was naked except for a small towel she held in front of her. Ranma quickly looked away, "A-Akane, what are you doing here?"  
  
"I needed a bath too and I figured it was ok because we're both girls." Akane said.  
  
Ranma had her eyes clenched shut, "Akane, there are some things you should know. But first of all I can't look at you. If I do then the other Ranmas will know what you look like naked."  
  
"What? Are you telepathic of something?" Akane had come all the way in and was sitting on a stool next to Ranma.  
  
"No, nothing like that. You might say we're all the same person so to speak. Akane, I want to be your friend but I'm afraid you'll hate me when you see the truth for yourself."  
  
"Ranma, whatever it is, I promise I won't hate you." Akane reassured.  
  
Ranma rinsed off again and got up. Her eyes were still closed. "I'm done enough. I'm going downstairs Akane, I'm sorry but I get real nervous around naked girls. You'll find out why soon enough."  
  
After Ranma left, Akane hurried and cleaned herself not bothering to soak in the furo either. No way was she going to miss anything going on downstairs.  
  
Akane dressed quickly and ran downstairs. There was that strange man sitting next to Father. Akane assumed it was Ranma's father and she briefly wondered where the panda had gone. She sat down in her usual spot at the table and looked around. "Where's Ranma?" she asked.  
  
"Here I am." Ranma said as he came out of the kitchen with another steaming kettle of water. There was something different about this Ranma. Then Akane realized that his black hair had a red streak in it. The same color red as the other two Ranmas. *Five Ranmas? * she wondered.  
  
Ranma sat down next to Genma and glanced at Akane briefly. He blushed and stared at the floor not making eye contact with anyone. Akane remembered the conversation from the bath and found she was getting angry in spite of herself at the thought of a boy knowing what she looked like naked.  
  
"This is my good friend Genma Saotome and his son Ranma. They just returned from a training trip in China." Soun started.  
  
"Ooh, China." Nabiki said enviously.  
  
"It was in China where they found the accursed training grounds of Jusenkyou." Soun sighed.  
  
Genma pushed his glasses up on his nose and shook his head, "Oh, the tragedy that has befallen my only son. Well I guess the best way to explain is to show you." He picked up Ranma and threw him into the yard and into the koi pond.  
  
*Only son? * Akane was confused.  
  
Suddenly four voices shouted out from the pond, "What the hell did you do that for old man?!"  
  
"Now there are four Ranmas again." Nabiki observed.  
  
"Oh, that I should be cursed to have four mouths to feed instead of one." Genma sobbed.  
  
"Yeah, well my dad turns into a panda!" cried the redheaded boy and kicked Genma into the pond.  
  
A large white panda emerged and began to fight with the four Ranmas.  
  
"You sure have interesting friends Father." Kasumi remarked.  
  
"They weren't always like this, let me explain." Soun began.  
  
-------------------- Begin Flashback --------------------  
  
"You very strange ones no?" the portly Chinese man said. "Welcome to accursed springs Jusenkyou. Over one hundred springs here, each with own tragic curse."  
  
"Looks easy enough." Ranma said.  
  
"Come on boy let get started." Genma challenged.  
  
Both martial artists leapt to the bamboo pole that stuck out of each pool of water. The began leaping and testing each others defenses in a manner that made Jackie Chan look like a klutz.  
  
"Sirs, I haven't finished my tragic tale! Very bad you fall in spring." The guide exclaimed. They didn't listen, the never listened. The guide just sighed and waited for the usual result.  
  
"I won't go easy on you boy!" Genma yelled.  
  
"Just how I like it. Heyaa!" Ranma replied jumping into the air and kicking Genma off his pole into one of the pools below.  
  
"Oh dear, you fall in spring of drowned panda. Very tragic tale of panda who drown in spring two thousand year ago. Now whoever fall in spring take body of a panda." The guide said without much enthusiasm. He was starting to wonder why he even bothered these days.  
  
"What? What the hell do you mean?" Ranma shouted as a huge panda wearing glasses jumped out of the pool to balance on a bamboo stake. "Ahhh!" Ranma screamed.  
  
The panda took advantage of Ranma's shock and knocked him off his perch and into a pool.  
  
"Very tragic, you fall in spring of drowned girl. Very sad tale of girl who drown in spring one thousand five hundred year ago. Now anyone who fall in take body of young girl. See, you are now a girl."  
  
Ranma spat out some water and looked down and opened his (now her) gi to see a couple of breasts where there were none before. She screamed for a full minute before anger at her father overcame her fear. "Stupid old man! I'll kill you for this!"  
  
The panda sweatdropped and took off running. Ranma ran close behind skirting the pools just barely. Suddenly Ranma hit a patch of grass that was still slick from the morning dew and lost her footing and fell into another pond.  
  
"What am I now?" Ranma said to himself as he climbed out of the pool. Looking down he saw he was a guy again. "That must have been the spring of drowned man. I'm cured!" He heard someone coughing behind him as someone else climbed out of the pool. He turned and looked just as the other person stood up and looked. Boy Ranma and girl Ranma looked at each other and screamed again before fainting with another loud splash.  
  
-------------------- End Flashback --------------------  
  
"You fell in the spring of drowned twins twice?" Akane exclaimed.  
  
Ranma sighed and nodded, he was back to his combined self with the streak of red hair. "It's not so bad except the girl part. And I'm sorry you walked in on Red like that." He apologized.  
  
"Red?" Akane asked showing remarkable restraint in not clobbering Ranma.  
  
"We all have nicknames to avoid confusion when we're split. Black haired guy is Ranma, red haired girl is Red, red haired boy is Rei, and black haired girl is Ranko." Ranma explained.  
  
"So Red is really a guy? Even though she's a girl?" Akane said angrily.  
  
Ranma nodded again, "When we recombine we share all the memories and experiences from when we're split. That's why I said I shouldn't see you naked. I'm sorry." He bowed full on to the floor in apology.  
  
Akane was unsure what to do. She wanted to clobber the guy for seeing her nude, but he had looked away and tried to explain. Maybe she should start over and try being nice. He didn't really seem like a pervert so she'd give him a second chance.  
  
"Ranma, if you're going to act like a girl then maybe you should be one." Genma said picking up Ranma and tossing him the pool.  
  
"What the hell? That wasn't even witty Pops." Ranma shouted. Three of the Ranma's jumped out of the pond and began to attack Genma. Red got up and shook the water out of her hair and walked into the living room and sat down near Akane.  
  
"I'm sorry about all this. I hope we can still be friends." Red asked hopefully.  
  
Akane hesitated, "Um, sure that would be nice I guess. Are you a girl or a guy like this?"  
  
Red shrugged, "Physically I'm a girl but up here," she points to her head, "I'm still a guy. I want to do guy things, wear guy clothes and I have no interest in men." She blushed at the last part.  
  
"So which one of you should I slap for looking at me naked?" Akane joked nervously.  
  
"Doesn't matter, we're all technically the same person." Red laughed.  
  
Eventually everyone calmed down enough that Soun decided to act. "This isn't so bad then. Ranma can still marry one of my daughters." He gathered all the Ranmas in one sweep of his arms and faced them at the three Tendo girls. "There's Kasumi, she's nineteen. Nabiki, she's seventeen. And Akane, she's sixteen. Pick one and she will be your bride."  
  
The room exploded in noise as everyone began yelling at once.  
  
"You can't be serious! We hardly know any of them." Ranma yelled.  
  
"You've got to be out of your minds. We can't get married with this curse! It's perverse at best, illegal at most." Red said a little calmer.  
  
"Actually I think they're all cute, especially the one with the fiery temper." Rei commented.  
  
"Speak for yourself, I like Nabiki the best." Ranko grinned evilly.  
  
Nabiki was shocked at hearing that and stepped behind Akane giving her a push, "I think Akane would be perfect."  
  
Kasumi nodded in agreement, "You're both the same age, it's more logical."  
  
"But I hate boys." Akane added desperately.  
  
"That's the good part, Ranma's part girl. And you're getting four for the price of one." Nabiki said trying to sell the idea to Akane.  
  
"Hey, I am not a girl!" Ranko shouted.  
  
"Although it would make married life interesting." Rei said with a leer.  
  
Akane couldn't take it anymore. Picking up the table she slammed it down on Rei, knocking him unconscious.  
  
"He had that coming." Red said.  
  
"That's going to hurt in the morning." Ranma sighed, not looking forward to recombining.  
  
"I still prefer Nabiki" Ranko pouted.  
  
A while later a combined Ranma was rubbing a knot on his head. It wasn't as big as the one Rei had. Recombining always lessened the damage anyone of them took. He had his bath supplies and entered the laundry room that led to the furo. He began to take off his shirt when he thought he heard someone moving in the next room. Hesitantly he knocked on the door. "Hello?" he said.  
  
"Is that you Ranma? I'm getting my robe on, hold on a sec." Akane's voice came from the other side of the door.  
  
Ranma sighed in relief at having the foresight to knock for a change.  
  
The door slid open and Akane stood there in a bathrobe and a towel on her head. Ranma gulped and smiled nervously, "you look nice Akane."  
  
Akane blushed and smiled. Most boys never complimented her without trying to beat her up at the same time. She wasn't quite sure how to take so she let it slide. Besides she was too busy staring at Ranma's bare chest.  
  
Cursing herself for her lack of control she changed the subject. "So what's the deal with your split selves? Why are Rei and Ranko such perverts?"  
  
Ranma looked embarrassed, "Well, I'm not entirely sure but me and Red seem to think that we split more than just our bodies. There was some personality splitting as well. The dark haired me is my intellectual male side, Red is the rational as well as part of the feminine, you know the whole yin-yang thing. Rei is my more emotional persona, without the rational holding him back he tends to follow his feelings. You know, lust, hunger, anger, etc. Ranko is the one I worry about most though. She represents my darker half. She's devious, tricky and would sell her own mother if she thought there was any money in it."  
  
"That explains why she likes Nabiki so much." Akane smirked. Seeing Ranma's confused look she continued, "You have all her memories. You should be able to see that her and Nabiki seem a lot alike."  
  
Ranma thought for a moment and then nodded. "Funny thing is, she's the only part of me that likes her. The rest of me thinks you're not only a decent martial artist but cute as well."  
  
"Stop it, you're making me blush." Akane stammered.  
  
"About this marriage thing." Ranma began. Akane held her breath, *What is he doing? Is he going to propose? Is coming on to me? Maybe he is a pervert! *  
  
"I don't think it's a good idea. I hardly know you, although you seem like a nice enough girl. Besides, I could never marry someone while I'm cursed like this." Ranma continued.  
  
Akane relaxed, "You'll be staying with us for a while at least right?" Ranma nodded.  
  
"Well then, at there very least, we can be friends." Akane extended her hand.  
  
Ranma took it and shook her hand. He suddenly turned away blushing.  
  
"What?" Akane asked.  
  
"Your um. bathrobe is starting to come undone." Ranma replied, his eyes scrunched shut.  
  
"Eep!" Akane pulled the robe closed and ran out of the room.  
  
--------------------  
  
The next morning Akane came downstairs to the sounds of combat. She stopped and looked outside to see all four Ranmas engaged in aerial combat. She just stood and watched, realizing just how much Red had held back the night before. Then she remembered that Ranma, actually it was Red, had offered to train her. She smiled at the thought of being able to move like that.  
  
The battle was soon over, everyone calling it a draw. Ranma went to get a kettle of hot water from the kitchen. Ranko, having been knocked into the pool was wringing her wet shirt out on the porch. Soun came down brushing his teeth, he nodded at Ranko then froze seeing her bare chest. Akane sighed at Ranko.  
  
"Don't you have any feminine modesty?" Akane said.  
  
"Nope, cause I'm a guy, remember?" Ranko said back with an edge to her voice.  
  
"I don't mind. In fact I'll help her with her pants too." Rei offered.  
  
"Pervert." Ranko retorted.  
  
"Hey, if you can't love yourself." he trailed off leaving the insinuation hanging.  
  
Ranko shook her head sadly, "Hey Ranma is that water ready yet?"  
  
"Coming!" Ranma came out of the kitchen with the kettle.  
  
Ranko held out her hand, "Come on, let's eat breakfast."  
  
The four Ranmas held hands although Ranko did so reluctantly and Ranma poured water on himself. There was a blur then Ranma was standing alone by himself, the red streak in his hair evident.  
  
"Why'd you do that?" Nabiki asked from the bottom of the stairwell.  
  
"This way I only have to eat for one. Saves on food." Ranma replied.  
  
Everyone sat down to eat. Ranma ate with a speed that Akane could barely follow. He eventually got into a war with Genma over the last pickle.  
  
"Akane, I was wondering if you could show me around school today." Ranma began.  
  
"You'll be coming with us today?" Akane asked.  
  
"Well, Red and I will. We talked it over last night and decided that Rei and Ranko will get jobs to help out around here while we go to school. That way we all get an education and an income at the same time." Ranma finished eating his pickle much to the consternation of his bruised father and got up and poured a glass of cold water over himself.  
  
Rei sighed unhappily, "I still don't see why I have to work."  
  
"Because you can't concentrate on school enough to be any use. We talked about it last night, remember?" Red chastised.  
  
"Well, I have something in mind already so I'll be off." Ranko smiled.  
  
"No Yakuza Ranko." Ranma warned.  
  
Ranko hung her head, "You never let a guy have any fun."  
  
Nabiki came by and waved to everyone, "Well I'm off, I'll see you at school."  
  
Akane looked at the clock, "we'd better get going too if we don't want to be late."  
  
Ranma and Red both nodded and grabbed their backpacks.  
  
On the way to school, Red and Ranma decided to walk along the chain link fence.  
  
"Ranma, Akane, I think it would be best not to mention the engagement at school. It would just cause problems." Red suggested.  
  
"I was going to say the same thing." Akane replied.  
  
"It does make sense. Although there are worse people to be engaged to." Ranma smiled.  
  
"Don't go there." Red warned.  
  
Akane was about to ask what that was all about when she realized they were almost to the school gates. "Guys, there's something I have to do shortly and I want you to stay out of it."  
  
Ranma and Red looked at each other and shrugged then nodded in agreement.  
  
Akane started running towards the gates of the school grounds. The two Ranmas could see a crowd of boys swarming towards the entrance from the other side. Akane hit the mob and the first bodies started flying. Ranma and Red hopped up on the stone wall and watched the chaos ensue.  
  
Akane made short work of the mob and soon the courtyard was littered with unconscious bodies. Ranma and Red jumped down to join Akane. Ranma was about to speak when something darted towards them. Red caught the rose and looked at it quizzically.  
  
"Truly. Such a boorish lot. Evidently each of them intends to ask you out, Akane, on the dawn that he finally defeats you." said an older boy as he came from behind a tree.  
  
"Oh, good morning Kuno. If you don't mind I don't want to be late for class." Akane said trying to keep her temper level.  
  
"But our business is not yet done. Fight with me that I might date with you."  
  
"Who is this clown?" Ranma asked.  
  
"What? Who are you scoundrel to be so familiar with Akane Tendo?" Kuno snarled.  
  
"Huh? Oh yeah, my name's."  
  
"But is it not custom to give one's own name first? Very well, I am Tatewaki Kuno, Junior group E. Captain of the Kendo club, undefeated new star of the High School fencing world. But my peers call me. The Blue Thunder of Furinkan High." Lightning flashed and Ranma noticed the sky was getting dark as a storm front rolled in.  
  
Up on the second floor Nabiki looked out the window with her henchwomen. "Blue Thunder?" one of them asked.  
  
Nabiki shrugged, "Last week it was shooting star."  
  
"So who's they guy and girl with Akane." The other girl asked.  
  
Nabiki held out her hand, "two thousand yen."  
  
Down below Ranma was taking off his backpack. "Do you mind if Ranma or I deal with this guy? He seems awful mad at Ranma." Red asked.  
  
Akane looked thoughtful for a minute the remembered seeing Ranma fight himself that morning. Smiling she said, "Go ahead Ranma, it might finally knock some sense into him."  
  
"Want any help bro' or should I sit this one out." Red offered.  
  
"I think I can take him bro'. Be ready just in case." Ranma smiled back.  
  
"How dare you talk about me as if I'm not here!" Kuno roared.  
  
He charged forward, his boken cleaving the air where Ranma's head had been a second before. Ranma was already airborne tossing his backpack to Akane, "Here hold this a second. I'm Ranma Saotome of the anything goes school of martial arts, pleased to meet ya."  
  
Kuno launched a series of thrusts, the final one breaking a section of the property wall. Ranma leapt overhead and pushed himself off a nearby tree as Kuno sliced it in two.  
  
The two leapt at each other again both readying their finishing moves. Red saw from the angle she was at that they would hit each other and leapt to the rescue. Suddenly Kuno had no boken and looked confused as Ranma's finger touched Kuno's forehead.  
  
Ranma landed and looked behind him as Kuno stood for a moment the dropped unconscious to the ground. Red stood off to the side holding Kuno's wooden practice sword in her hand.  
  
"Another second and you'd have lost your head." Red said.  
  
"There can be only one." Ranma laughingly replied. "Thanks for the save."  
  
"Don't mention it. Gotta look out for myself you know."  
  
"We'd better hurry before we're late." Akane said.  
  
--------------------  
  
Rei and Ranko wandered the neighborhood on their way to the local market.  
  
"I still don't see why we have to get jobs." Rei complained.  
  
"Because you have the attention span of a gnat that's why. You couldn't study your way out of a paper bag." Ranko explained.  
  
They both sighed. Ranko stopped and pointed to a small doctor's office on the street corner. "There's the place Kasumi was telling us about. Let's go apply."  
  
Half an hour later Rei left Dr. Ono's office looking depressed. Ranko had shown that she had a knack for numbers and easily picked up the filing system the doctor used for his patients. She'd be working four days a week in eight hour shifts.  
  
Rei kicked a rock down the street and walked along with his hands in his pockets. It wasn't his fault he couldn't concentrate. He didn't ask to be stuck with all the libido and the extreme range of emotions. He wondered briefly if he could talk Ranma and Red into dating Akane. He had no idea that such a hot temper could be such a turn on.  
  
He realized then that he'd wandered into the main marketplace of the neighborhood. There were fruit stands, grocery stores and restaurants. He then realized that there was some sort of commotion that was drawing a crowd.  
  
He gradually forced his way to the front of the crowd and couldn't believe his eyes. There were reporters everywhere and a large heavyset man in a tiger stripe suit talking to the cameras.  
  
".but earth has one way to avoid invasion" The large man said, "I will choose a champion and we will play a game of tag. If he can touch either of my daughter's horns then we will leave the earth in peace. The contest will last from sunup to sunset for three days. So proclaims the ruler of the Oni empire."  
  
Rei noticed the daughter the old man referred to. She looked nothing like her father save for the tiger striped clothes she wore, a bikini to be exact. As far as Rei's short attention span was concerned she was the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen. It was then he made the decision.  
  
"I'll be earth's champion!" Rei declared.  
  
"Eh? A volunteer? And what might your name be young man?"  
  
"I'm Ranma Saotome of the Anything Goes school of martial arts. But you can call me Rei. I'm the best martial artist in the world." He said confidently.  
  
The Oni king looked Rei over for a moment then turned to his daughter. She nodded. "Fine, it is settled, tomorrow you shall fight for the salvation of your planet." The Oni king and his daughter flew upon a platform to their spaceship that Rei just noticed hovering overhead.  
  
Suddenly Rei was mobbed by reporters as he became the focus of the latest development in the hottest story since the end of World War II.  
  
--------------------  
  
Ranma, Red, and Akane were late for class after all despite jumping through the third story window to get to class.  
  
"Sorry Akane." Ranma said.  
  
Akane sighed, "It's all right. Usually I finish with those losers every morning and still make it to class on time. But once in a while I get delayed."  
  
The three were holding buckets in the hallway.  
  
"At least we don't have to worry about this cold water." Red laughed.  
  
Ranma's danger sense went off and he managed to dodge out of the way before the boken swept through both buckets he was holding.  
  
"I will never allow it!" Kuno shouted.  
  
"Allow what?" Ranma yelled back.  
  
"I will never allow your engagement to Akane Tendo!" Kuno let the c-a-t out of the bag.  
  
Suddenly all the window panels opened up and students began bombarding the couple with questions, words of support, and insults.  
  
"It was our parent's idea." Akane tried to say.  
  
"It's not like that really!" Ranma stammered.  
  
Red sighed. So much for keeping it a secret.  
  
Kuno leapt to attack only to meet Red's foot in his face.  
  
"Excuse me. I don't believe we've been properly introduced. I am."  
  
"I've already heard the spiel Kuno." Red said planting another foot in his face.  
  
"Such a fiery temper! What is thy name that I might emblazon it on my heart." Kuno sighed.  
  
"Oh Kuno, if you truly wish the pigtailed girl then I will not stand in your way." Akane giggled as Red shot her an evil glare.  
  
Kuno placed the fingers of his hand against his bowed forehead, "Of course you are right. How can I abandon the beautiful rose Akane. Yet how can I resist the fierce wildness of the dandelion. Augh, I cannot decide! I must have you both!"  
  
"Pervert!" Akane yelled.  
  
"Creep!" Red screamed.  
  
They both punted Kuno out the window.  
  
--------------------  
  
"You did what?" Red exclaimed.  
  
Everyone was sitting around the table eating dinner. Ranma stayed split so they could talk this out.  
  
"Well, it is the duty of martial artists to defend the weak. Defending the whole earth is the same thing." Ranma commented.  
  
"I saw the girl he has to play 'tag' with. I'm sure Rei just wanted an opportunity to feel her up." Ranko said sarcastically.  
  
"But this is Rei we're talking about! I don't know about you but I don't want him screwing things up after what happened in China." Red continued.  
  
"That wasn't my fault!" Rei exclaimed.  
  
"What happened in China?" Akane asked.  
  
"We don't like to talk about it." Ranko said.  
  
Nabiki's eyebrows raised at that. *Ranma keeping secrets? We'll see about that.*  
  
Akane crossed her arms angrily but didn't say anything.  
  
"Maybe I should go in Rei's place. Or we could join up and go together." Ranma said.  
  
"That will work until we get splashed with water, and we always get splashed with cold water." Red said sadly.  
  
"Look, I don't care what anyone says. This is my chance to prove I can do something good for a change. You guys can't stop me!" Rei stood up and walked upstairs to his room.  
  
"Figures it takes the threat of world domination to develop a backbone." Ranko sighed. "So who's going to show me what you learned today?"  
  
Red got up and grabbed the tea kettle that had become a permanent fixture at mealtimes, "I'll do it. You can get the rest from Ranma later."  
  
The two girls grabbed hands and Red poured the water on herself. A blur then there was only one girl Ranma She had red hair with a black streak.  
  
"I didn't know you could do that?" Akane gasped.  
  
"Oh, my!" Kasumi exclaimed.  
  
"Yeah, pretty handy trick eh? Any of us can recombine in any combination. Our power also increases with each additional self we combine with." Ranma said.  
  
"So what do we call you?" Nabiki asked.  
  
"Hmm? Red or Ranko, I'll respond to either." Red/Ranko said.  
  
"I never get tired of watching that. Fascinating." Soun commented.  
  
Genma used the distraction to replace some pieces on the shogi board.  
  
--------------------  
  
The next morning found a huge crowd in Nerima. Ranma and Red had gone to school with Akane saying they'd see everything later after they re-merged. Ranko was working the crowd taking bets much to Nabiki's irritation. Reporters were trying to get any last minute comments from Rei when the Oni mothership appeared over head and the Oni girl was escorted down on a flying platform with her father.  
  
"Let's get started shall we?" The Oni king announced. "Lum? Are you ready?"  
  
The girl nods and assumes a sprinter ready stance. Rei has dressed in a track runner outfit complete with running shoes. He does some stretches and announces he's ready.  
  
The Oni king fires a lightning bolt into the air and the two take off running. Rei quickly gains and leaps for the girl in a classic Glomp of Death only to have her leap into the air and hover out of reach.  
  
"Hey, you didn't say you could fly!" Rei shouted.  
  
"You never asked." She said simply.  
  
Rei leapt up into the air and almost touched Lum's foot. He leapt again but Lum rose out of reach. After a couple of hours of watching Rei jumping and making a fool of himself most people start leaving in disgust. A young man snorted in disgust, "I could do better than that." Ataru turned and walked off.  
  
"We are so doomed." Ranko sighed.  
  
"Can't you do anything?" Nabiki asked. Ranko shook her head. "So how was your take?"  
  
Ranko shrugged, "about five hundred thousand yen. I didn't know about her flying so I gave fairly close odds. I assumed they would have some trick up their sleeve though so I put the odds ten to one in favor of my dear brother. I had people lining up to bet on him."  
  
"He's kind of an idiot isn't he?"  
  
Ranko smirked, "Well, he didn't get much in the way of brains in the split."  
  
Nabiki laughed, "You know, we could make a good team."  
  
"I'll think about it." Ranko said.  
  
Meanwhile on the other side of Nerima; Ranma, Red, and Akane were having lunch outside under a tree.  
  
Akane had made lunches that day and Ranma was busy gagging on the first mouthful while Red was trying to find the best way to tell Akane how horrible her cooking was.  
  
She was interrupted by a scream, "Ranma Saotome, for making my life a living hell prepare to die!"  
  
Ranma rolled out of the way as the ground underneath exploded forming a small crater.  
  
"Hey Ryouga, what are you doing here?" Ranma said getting up and dusting himself off.  
  
Red smiled and took up a fighting stance, "So you finally showed up to finish that challenge. Took you long enough."  
  
The eternally lost boy looked at Red with a confused expression, "Do I know you?"  
  
"Yeah, I'm Ranma Saotome." Red laughed.  
  
"So am I." Ranma took up a stance next to Red.  
  
"Don't try to fool me. The Ranma I'm after is a guy." Ryouga said to Red.  
  
Red's eyes twinkled and she looked to Ranma, "Shall we?" Ranma nodded, "Akane could you hand me that thermos of hot water?"  
  
Akane handed the thermos to Red and watched as Ranma and Red held hands. Red poured the water on herself. Akane's eyes crossed as she tried to focus on the blur of the two Ranmas merging into one.  
  
A very female Ranma with black hair and a red streak stood before Ryouga.  
  
"What? Where'd he go?" Ryouga was totally lost, not a unique position for him.  
  
"Spring of drowned girl followed by spring of drowned twins. Long story. So do you still want to fight or not?" Red/Ranma asked.  
  
"Hah! You got off lucky at Jusenkyou then Ranma. You have no idea the hell I've gone through since you ran out on our duel."  
  
"I waited three days for you to show up. Wait a minute, are you saying you followed me to Jusenkyou?"  
  
"Shut up and fight me!" Ryouga screamed. He struck out but Red/Ranma dodged out of the way.  
  
"C'mon what do you turn into? Is it a rabbit? No? How about spring of drowned orangutan?" she taunted.  
  
"Augh! Hold still so I can kill you!" Ryouga punched again splintering a tree.  
  
"Hey! What did that tree ever do to you?"  
  
Suddenly a stream of water came out of nowhere hitting both Red/Ranma and Ryouga.  
  
Ranma turned to see Akane with a garden hose smiling sheepishly, "What'd you do that for?" he said.  
  
"I just thought maybe he'd turn into something less dangerous. I was only trying to help." Akane explained.  
  
Before Ranma could respond he heard a growl behind him and Red began tapping him on the shoulder to get his attention. Turning around he stared at the largest wolf he had ever seen. It was struggling out of a pair of torn pants. It was over six feet long and its head came up to Ranma's shoulders. The eyes glowed red in anger as it advanced on the cursed twins.  
  
"Um, Akane." Red began.  
  
"I know, in the future don't help." Akane finished while backing off.  
  
"Hey, Ryouga, looking good. That's a pretty awesome curse. I mean if I had to choose a curse I'd definitely take wolf." Ranma continued, "Think about it buddy, you could have been cursed to become a pig or something that people would always be trying to eat. We both kinda got off lucky if you think about it."  
  
"Ranma, I suggest we run like hell." Red offered.  
  
"Agreed, let's split up."  
  
"Haha, funny, I'll meet you at home. See you later Akane."  
  
The twins took off in different directions. Ryouga howled then took off after boy Ranma. A few minutes later both Red and Ranma were back.  
  
"I thought you were headed home." Akane said.  
  
"We wanted Ryouga to think that. Besides, with Ryouga's poor sense of direction it'll be weeks before we see him again." Red said.  
  
The trio went back inside to finish the rest of the school day, Red and Ranma explaining the bread feud and Ryouga's challenge.  
  
--------------------  
  
The sun began to set and Rei finally collapsed from exhaustion. Ranko and Nabiki finished collecting their bets and approached the pitiful man.  
  
"Just one more leap. I'm sure I can reach her this time." Rei said.  
  
"Lum's gone Rei." Ranko replied.  
  
"Did I win?" Rei asked.  
  
Nabiki shook her head and helped Ranko pull him up to make the short trip home.  
  
"You're going to have to be faster tomorrow if you're going to win." Ranko chastised.  
  
"Not a problem. All this jumping today was just training. See how I do tomorrow." Rei boasted.  
  
"Let's get him home so I can eat." Nabiki sighed.  
  
It was almost four a.m. that night while Ranma was asleep that the window to his room began to slide open quietly. A dark figure crept in and slowly approached Ranma's futon. A streetlight outside illuminated the figure of Ryouga before his features were once again hidden in the shadows.  
  
Towering over Ranma, Ryouga raised his fist to strike. As his fist came down it was stopped by Ranma's hand.  
  
"Did You really think I wouldn't notice you sneaking in?" Ranma said.  
  
"Damn you Ranma!" Ryouga shouted.  
  
"Hey, people are trying to sleep here. If you want to fight then let's take it outside."  
  
"No tricks?" Ryouga asked.  
  
"No tricks." Ranma agreed.  
  
Ranma led Ryouga downstairs and out to the backyard. The light from a nearby streetlight cast a greenish blue glow over the whole backyard.  
  
"So, before we start, do you want to explain exactly what you're so pissed about?" Ranma started.  
  
"I suppose I can grant a last request." Ryouga snorted. "After you ran out on our duel, I followed you to China. I happened upon Jusenkyou by pure chance arriving only a day after you had left. I received instructions from the guide there that you had gone on to a nearby village of amazons before heading home. Following his instructions I turned and.walked into the nearest pool by accident. The guide pulled me out and changed me back. He explained the curse and I realized I was doomed. Of course my real troubles didn't start until I found the village."  
  
"Oh no, don't tell me, Amazon girl, purple hair, really tight clothing?"  
  
"You know her?", Ryouga said disbelieving.  
  
"Yeah, you could say she made our lives a living hell too. Look Ryouga, I'm sorry I left before you showed up. I was camping out in the lot waiting for you because I knew it sometimes takes you a while to get where you need to go. Pops found me and drug me off on another of his training trips. I told him you had challenged me but he didn't listen. As for your curse, you didn't have to follow me to China, besides I still think you got a cool curse. Tell me how you found me so quickly."  
  
Ryouga looked embarrassed, "I turned into a wolf and followed your scent."  
  
"See, with your curse you don't get lost as easy. And as for the Amazon girl, we may need to stick together if we have to deal with her again."  
  
Ryouga seemed to think it over, his anger diminished but he seemed to be trying to hold onto it, "But our duel." He trailed off.  
  
"Hey, I'd still like to fight our dual, but as friends. I think we could both use a good friend right now don't you think?"  
  
Ryouga's brow furrowed in concentration for a moment, "It will take a while to forgive you," he said after a moment, "But I would like to try."  
  
Ranma assumed a battle stance, "How about a practice battle then. We can dual later when we're more prepared."  
  
Ryouga grinned, "All right. But don't expect me to go easy on you."  
  
"Wouldn't have it any other way." Ranma replied.  
  
The two began to circle around each other warily looking for weakness in their defenses. Ranma leapt suddenly with a jump kick that Ryouga brushed aside and shot forward with an upper hook that barely missed Ranma's chin. The two bounded away from each other and smiled at each other. This time Ryouga took the initiative and launched a series of punches followed by a side kick to Ranma's ribs. Ranma grunted and took the hit but delivered a furious punch to the side of Ryouga's jaw. Soon they were nothing but a flurry of punches and kicks.  
  
Akane woke to a knock at the door. Getting up she opened it to see her two sisters standing in the hallway. "What's up?"  
  
"There's someone fighting in the backyard. It sounds like Ranma and someone else." Nabiki said.  
  
"It might be Ryouga. Ranma was fighting this guy who has a serious grudge against him earlier today. Ranma said he wouldn't be able to find us this fast though. Let's go look."  
  
The three crept downstairs and looked out the open backdoor. Two figures were clearly outlined by the faint light from the street. Akane quickly recognized Ranma from the way he moved. Nabiki handed Akane one of her training weights. "Here use this." she said.  
  
Akane took aim and threw the barbell at the attacker just as he leapt at Ranma.  
  
Ranma stared as Ryouga was hit in the back of the head and fell straight down into the koi pond. Ranma was fishing out an unconscious wolf when Akane and Nabiki came out to survey their handiwork.  
  
"I was right it was Ryouga!" Akane exclaimed.  
  
"Yeah, hopefully he's ok. We had just worked out our differences and were just sparing." Ranma sighed.  
  
"I'm sorry Ranma, I didn't know."  
  
"It's ok Akane. There was no way you could have known. I'm sorry if I woke you guys up."  
  
Ryouga began to groan and his eyelids fluttered open.  
  
"Hey Ryouga, sorry about this. Akane thought you were a burglar and threw a barbell at you." Ranma said.  
  
"I'm sorry Ryouga but I thought you were hurting Ranma.", Akane explained. Nabiki raised an eyebrow.  
  
Ryouga growled but didn't seem to mean it. He stood up shakily and shook the water out of his fur triggering Ranma's curse.  
  
All four Ranmas sighed collectively. "C'mon Ryouga let's get you changed back and I'll introduce you to everyone at breakfast." Ranma said.  
  
"Kasumi, I'll help you start breakfast when you're ready." Red offered.  
  
"It's almost six o'clock now anyway, might as well. Rei has to be at the marketplace in half an hour anyway." Nabiki commented.  
  
Everyone was sitting around the table eating breakfast. Ryouga was laughing so hard he had trouble eating.  
  
"Only you could have gotten cursed three times!" He chortled.  
  
"Ryouga, it's only because Red has been practicing meditation and learning how to deal with people on a social level that I haven't put you through the floor right now. Besides, at least I have hands in my cursed form." Ranma said between mouthfuls.  
  
Ryouga sobered up a bit and sighed. "So do you have any ideas on how to get rid of this curse?"  
  
Ranma shrugged, "I thought at first maybe if I jumped into the pool of drowned man that it would cure me. The guide at Jusenkyou stopped me before I could. He said that all that would do is compound the curse. Who knows how that would affect the girl and twins curse. If you jumped in it would combine the wolf with the man curse. You'd come out looking like a werewolf."  
  
Ryouga shuddered, "That's all I don't need is every idiot in town trying to shoot me with silver bullets."  
  
Ranma glanced at the clock on the wall and grabbed a glass of water. Dowsing himself he split up for the day.  
  
Rei smiled and went to put on his running shoes.  
  
"Nabiki, I won't be able to go with you today. Dr. Tofu wants me to do some inventory." Ranko said.  
  
Nabiki shrugged, "More money for me then." Ranko gave an evil glare and Nabiki gulped in spite of herself and decided now would be a good time to leave.  
  
Red sighed and shook her head, "We should go see this Dr. Tofu sometime, from what Ranko and Akane told us he may have some knowledge that could lead us to a cure."  
  
Ryouga perked up, "Maybe I should go with you guys then."  
  
Ranma smiled, "I don't mind, I'm not sure how the teachers would feel about an unregistered student in class. We could tell them you're a relative from out of town that's visiting."  
  
Nabiki reached the marketplace just in time to see the start of the day's game of tag. Rei had finished his warm ups and was crouched in a ready position. The lightning bolt went off and Rei moved almost faster than anyone could follow. Lum leapt up to try and repeat the previous day but Rei was faster than she anticipated and he grabbed her from behind, one of his arms wrapped around her chest.  
  
Lum screamed in shock and so did Rei as two hundred thousand volts of blue lightning shot through his body.  
  
Rei fell to the ground smoking and blackened with Lum's bikini top clutched to his chest in a deathgrip.  
  
"Oh, he almost had her there folks!" an announcer nearby spoke to the news camera.  
  
Lum was covering her chest with one arm as she flew down to retrieve her top. She almost had it when Rei lunged for her again. She dodged barely and backed off.  
  
"Do you want this?" Rei taunted waving the bikini top.  
  
"Give it back!" Lum yelled.  
  
"You'll have to take it from me." Rei challenged. He stuffed the top down his shirt and ran towards Lum.  
  
He attacked again and again, each time barely missing Lum as she dodged. She kept her arm over her chest and it became apparent that she couldn't fly as well without the use of both arms.  
  
Akane wondered if she was dealing with some sort of culture shock. Her life had certainly changed in the last two days. She was engaged to a man who split into four people, two of them girls. And her new friend became a wolf with cold water.  
  
"I'm sorry Ryouga but you'll have to wait until we get to school to get some hot water." she said.  
  
Ranma picked up Ryouga's backpack and clothes and bowed to the old lady who was watering the flowers in front of her house. The lady blinked twice and shrugged she'd seen a lot of things in her life and an aquathrope wasn't really all that strange.  
  
As they approached the school grounds Akane readied herself for the morning rush. The four slowed as a large group of male students rushed Akane. Red was suddenly surprised when about half the group broke off and began to attack her as well.  
  
"Red I love you!", a guy in a hockey mask shouted. "Would you go out to a movie if I beat you?" another guy in a football uniform asked as he swung at Red.  
  
Red meanwhile was beginning to put off a smoldering red aura as she thoroughly trashed any guy who came near her.  
  
Soon there were just Ranma, Red, Akane, and Ryouga standing. Moaning and unconscious bodies were strewn about. "What the hell was that all about?" Red demanded.  
  
"I merely offered the same stipulation for dating you that I offered for Akane. They must defeat you to date you." Kuno said emerging from behind a pillar near the entrance to the school.  
  
"Kuno, I'm only going to say this once. I want you to get this through your thick skull. I don't like guys, I like women!" Red shouted.  
  
Ranma covered his face with his hand and sighed, "Red, that wasn't the smartest thing you could have shouted."  
  
Kuno seemed stunned, there were looks of surprise and astonishment throughout the gathered crowd. From combatants to bystanders everyone was looking at Red with wide eyes. Ryouga was doing the wolf equivalent of a laugh.  
  
Red's face turned a bright red, "Oops." She said meekly.  
  
Kuno recovered and charged Red, "Perhaps all you need is my loving embrace to steer you back to the correct path of love."  
  
Kuno impacted face first on Red's fist. "If I want your opinion on anything Kuno, I'll give it to you!" With that she crotch kicked him over the school to the collective groans of the male student body. "You just can't reason with some people." She shrugged and ran inside before the last bell rang.  
  
Kawamura-Sensei stared at the large wolf lying on the floor between Akane. It glared at him as if challenging him to say something. He shook his head sadly. From what he'd seen, Ranma and Red were better martial artists than Akane. It was just better to ignore it and start the day's lesson. Besides, the twins were actually good students which was a change from the norm.  
  
Ryouga decided to make the most of and pay attention to the day's lesson. They had been too late to get any hot water to change Ryouga back and decided it would be best to just go to class. Ryouga listened to the sensei as he explained the trig problem in detail. He'd never had much opportunity to go to school since the feud with Ranma began. Getting to school was problematic at best with his sense of direction. Of course with his enhanced sense of smell he could find his way around more accurately than before. He grinned to himself realizing he could actually finish school. Maybe this curse wasn't such a bad thing after all.  
  
It was around lunchtime when Rei suddenly stopped chasing Lum and sat down at a beef bowl stand. Everyone in the crown facefaulted when he ordered three beefbowls and began eating heartily.  
  
"How can you eat with the fate of the earth at stake?" Nabiki asked sitting down next to him.  
  
"I was hungry?" Rei replied.  
  
Ranko sat down on the other side and ordered three beef bowls for herself, "Saotome curse unfortunately. We inherited our appetite from Pop."  
  
Nabiki looked at Ranko questioningly.  
  
"Lunch break." Ranko explained.  
  
Rei nodded and tried speaking while he was eating, "I think I'm wearing her down. She can't fly very well if she has to cover herself up."  
  
"Pervert. You're just hoping to get a good look at her rack." Ranko snorted. "Oops, I gotta get back to work. Ja ne."  
  
"Well, yeah. And if I can grab her again maybe." he trailed off, drool forming at the corner of his mouth.  
  
"Baka, finish up and go save the earth." Nabiki scolded.  
  
Red tried to ignore the whispers as she made her way to the tree where Ranma and Akane were already eating. She was leading Ryouga from the bathroom so he wouldn't get lost. Sitting down next to Ranma she took the bento Akane offered.  
  
"This sucks. Now everybody at school thinks I'm a lesbian."  
  
"It gets worse. I overheard someone in the bathroom talking about how Ranma, Red, and Akane were in some sort of sexual love triangle." Ryouga stated.  
  
Akane gagged on her drink, "What! Who was it? I'll kill him!"  
  
"Calm down Akane, Once Nabiki comes back to school she can take care of damage control." Ranma said coolly.  
  
"How can you be so calm? Unless you actually enjoy the rumors!", Akane became suspicious.  
  
"Rei got most of the emotions remember. I'm trying to look at this from a logical point of view. Besides we know these rumors aren't true so what does it matter what they think." Ranma explained.  
  
Akane thought for a moment, "That's true but it's still embarrassing."  
  
"Damn it, I'm not a lesbian. I'm a guy and guys like girls." Red said getting depressed.  
  
Ranma looked at her sympathetically, "Do you want to merge? Maybe get your mind off all this for a while?"  
  
Red sniffed and looked at Ranma. She seemed on the verge of tears but managed a nod, "I think some cold logic will help temper out these female hormones."  
  
Ranma pulled the thermos out of his pack, "Do you want the honor or should I?"  
  
"You do it, I'm tired of being a female."  
  
Ranma grabbed her hand and poured the water on himself. Red blurred and disappeared leaving Ranma with a red streak in his hair.  
  
Ranma shook a little as the emotions and memories of the day merged and settled. "Geeze, I had no idea how bad that could feel." He said finally.  
  
Akane was about to ask when there was a shout from nearby.  
  
"What have you done to the pigtailed girl!?" Kuno yelled.  
  
Ranma/Red sighed, "Kuno, you wouldn't understand. Just go away, we don't want to deal with you right now."  
  
"Bring her back or I will kill you I swear it." Kuno threatened.  
  
Akane was afraid, she'd never seen Kuno this angry before and wondered if Ranma could still handle him.  
  
"Kuno, you couldn't defeat us singly what makes you think you can take us when we're together?" Ranma dropped into a ready stance. His aura flared up red and blue swirling around him.  
  
Akane gasped, she'd never seen an aura that powerful before. Sure her dad would project a giant demonic version of himself if he got mad but this was much more controlled. If Ranma could do this with just the two of him combined what would it be like with all four?  
  
Kuno seemed to drop back a for a second then moved forward to attack. Kuno thrust forward to strike Ranma's head but Ranma casually ducked to the side, pulled the boken from Kuno's grasp and plunged a fist into his stomach. Kuno crumpled to the ground gasping for air.  
  
Ranma rested the boken on his shoulder and shook his head. "Now go away Kuno. Leave us alone."  
  
Kuno struggled to his feet slowly. He glared at Ranma, "I do not know by what sorcery you have bested me but mark my words. I will destroy you and free the pigtailed one." He turned and walked away holding his gut.  
  
"I've never seen him so angry before. Be careful Ranma, he seemed crazed, more than usual that is." Akane said with concern in her voice.  
  
Ranma noticed Akane's attitude and wished he could return it. *Not until I find a cure* he swore to himself. "Don't worry Akane, I can handle him." He noticed the angry look in her eyes and continued, "But I'll be careful for your sake." Her look softened and a faint blush came to her cheeks.  
  
*What am I doing?* she thought to herself. *He's four people! And half of them are women! Although he does have a nice body in his guy form. Aughh! Stop it Akane. You hate boys remember?*  
  
Akane realized Ranma was talking to her, ".finish that?" he was saying?  
  
"Hmm?" Akane said snapping to attention.  
  
"I said 'are you going to finish that bento?'"  
  
"What? No, here enjoy."  
  
It was after school that Ranma and Red with Akane and Ryouga in tow ran to dr. Tofu's office. As they entered, Ranma saw Ranko sitting behind a desk with a bored expression on her face. She waved half heartedly when she saw who it was.  
  
Ranma noticed the book she was reading, 'Pressure point techniques for dummies.' He grinned, "Learn anything yet?"  
  
Ranko shrugged, "None of the fun stuff. Dr. Tofu says I can't get any of the advanced books until I learn the basics. Hey wolf boy how ya doin'?"  
  
Ryouga growled realistically for not being a wolf at the moment.  
  
"Ranko, who is it? I don't have any appointments scheduled do I?" Dr. Tofu said as he came from one of the back rooms. "Hello Akane, and you must be Ranma and Red Saotome." He shook their hands.  
  
"I'm Ryouga Hibiki." Ryouga said in response to the doctor's questioning look.  
  
"So you three are the result of a Jusenkyou curse? Well come on in and we'll take a look at you. I've already examined Ranko but would like to see the curse in action. Akane why don't you wait out here so there's more room?"  
  
Akane sighed and took a seat next to the desk Ranko was sitting at. After a couple of minutes she realized Ranko was staring at her. "What?"  
  
"He really likes you." Ranko said.  
  
"Huh? You mean Dr. Tofu?"  
  
"No you idiot, I meant Ranma. He's already falling in love with you." Ranko snorted.  
  
"What did you call me?" Akane said angrily.  
  
Ranko sighed and rolled her eyes. "Never mind, obviously you can't have a conversation without getting upset."  
  
Akane pulled out her transdimensional mallet and swung it at Ranko's head. It was stopped about two inches from impact as Ranko grabbed the handle and ripped it from Akane's grasp.  
  
"Listen up little bitch," Ranko started with an eerie level of calm, "The other three Ranma's may love you enough to let you get away with that crap but you try it on me again and I'll put you down, hard. Understand?"  
  
Akane was stunned at the level of cold brutality in Ranko's voice and she sat back in her chair stunned.  
  
Ranko sat back as well laughing a dry humorless laugh, "Ah, to think we fell for an uncute tomboy like you. Ranma, that is all of us combined, really wants a relationship with you but decided it wouldn't be honorable until he finds a cure. Personally I think the idea is ludicrous. All you have going for you is the Art and I know a lot of people who are better than you. You're only moderately attractive and you're violent. Yet in spite of all that we still fell for you. Granted, I would still rather have Nabiki, there's more profit in that, maybe we could take her on as a mistress after the marriage."  
  
Akane was speechless, she'd never had anyone speak to her in such a manner. Only the threat of violence from Ranko kept her still. Her eyes were tearing up anyway. *Ranma loves me? * she thought *But Ranko is Ranma and she seems to hate me. Why is she being so mean? * Akanes emotions were on overload from conflict. Tears formed in her eyes and she struggled not to cry.  
  
Ranko seemed to soften, "Ah, Look, don't take it so bad. I know the other Ranmas don't like me because I have a loose sense of honor by their standards. I may not like you as much as they do but you are a nice girl when you aren't being violent. I just personally have no room in my life for romance and I certainly have no time to deal with people idiotically."  
  
Akane sniffed and wiped a tear from her eye that was trying to make its way down her cheek.  
  
"Sorry I lost it there. I have a temper like you wouldn't believe. You have no idea what it's like to be trapped in the wrong gender. Can we start over? Friends?" Ranko extended her hand.  
  
Akane composed herself and hesitantly took the offered hand, "I'm going to go check on the others."  
  
Ranko nodded, "You gonna be ok?" she asked.  
  
Akane smiled, "Sure, you're under a lot of stress. I can understand that." She got up and went to the examination room.  
  
Ranko stared after her, a cruel smile on her lips. This job had been a gift from the kami, everything she needed was here for her plan. *Soon, very soon my brothers.*  
  
Akane opened the curtain just in time to see Ranma pulling up his boxers getting a good view of his posterior. Averting her eyes quickly she heard Ryouga chuckling to himself, "Sorry, I needed to get out of there, Ranko was."  
  
"Intense?", Ranma asked.  
  
Akane nodded. Dr. Tofu raised an eyebrow and looked up from where he was writing notes in Ranma's file.  
  
"It's like you said Ranma. There is definitely a personality divergence when you split. However, each of you is a complete person. Individually there is a complete aura, these auras combine when you join. I would like to see all of you joined at some point to get an accurate reading. Each of you have an incredible amount of chi, moreso than anyone I've ever seen. Combined, well I'm just glad you're one of the good guys." Tofu said.  
  
"So is there a cure?" Ryouga finally said.  
  
Dr. Tofu shook his head sadly, "From what little I've read on the subject of Jusenkyou there is nothing to suggest a cure. Of course just a couple of days ago I had thought it was all myth and legend. I will do some research to see what I can find. In the meantime, try to find the benefits of this curse. I'm sure there are people out there who would love to be in your shoes right now. Besides I'm sure there are worse things you could turn into than one of earth's most powerful predators."  
  
Ryouga seemed thoughtful and nodded his head bashfully.  
  
The sun slowly set as Lum flew back to her spaceship. Rei sat on the ground exhausted. The few remaining people who had stayed to watch cursed and threw insults his way.  
  
"It looks like Rei Saotome has failed once again to save the earth from becoming a slave planet to the mighty Oni Empire. Mr. Saotome, do you have any words for the people at home who will surely lynch you should you fail tomorrow?"  
  
Rei looked up determination in his face. "I will not fail! A Saotome never accepts defeat!" He stood up shakily and raised his fist in the air. "You hear me world? I will not fail!"  
  
"Rei, the cameras are gone. Everyone's gone home." Ranko said.  
  
Rei sagged against his twin, "I'll get her tomorrow."  
  
"Of course you will. Let's go home brother."  
  
Ranma sat at the table next to Akane. He was whole for a change.  
  
"Well, Dr. Tofu wasn't a whole lot of help. He did say that he had some connections to certain people who knew about various curses so he's not giving up hope yet." Ranma was telling his father.  
  
"So are you going to be staying a while Ryouga?" Kasumi asked.  
  
Ryouga assumed a bashful look and laughed nervously, "I don't know. Maybe a couple of days at the most. I don't want to intrude."  
  
"Nonsense Ryouga. You're more than welcome to stay. It's no trouble at all." Kasumi smiled.  
  
"Great another mouth to feed." Nabiki muttered.  
  
"Oh, by the way," Ranma began, "Put this in the household fund. Ranko will hate me for it later but that's tough." He handed Nabiki a wad of bills.  
  
"What's that?" Akane asked.  
  
"Yesterdays winnings. Ranko was taking bets on Rei."  
  
Nabiki took the money and looked at Ranma with a new respect. *There's close to half a million yen here! And he just gives it away. Either he's an idiot or he's more responsible than his father seems to be.*  
  
"I figure there's enough to cover room and board for a couple of months for me, Ryouga and Pops. We're also thinking of teaching an after school martial arts class in the dojo with your permission Mr. Tendo." Ranma offered.  
  
Soun looked deep in thought for a moment, "That would be a good idea Ranma. Perhaps you can train Akane as well. I have to admit her training has been lacking, my fault really."  
  
"I'd love to train Akane for you sir. She shows a lot of potential and she has a large untapped source of chi that I think I can teach her to harness." Ranma praised.  
  
Akane blushed at the compliments, "I'm not that good really."  
  
"Akane, if my life continues to be as chaotic as usual it would be best to be able to defend yourself to the utmost if it catches up to me."  
  
"You mean Shampoo." Ryouga said.  
  
"Among other things." Ranma agreed.  
  
"What is this about shampoo?" Akane demanded.  
  
"Let's just pray you never meet her." Ranma shuddered.  
  
It was later that evening while Ranma was up in his room that he heard a knock on his window. Looking out he saw Lum hovering just outside. She had her arms over her chest still.  
  
Ranma went over and opened the window, "What do you want Lum." He asked.  
  
"Where is Rei?" she demanded.  
  
Ranma stared for a second before realizing she didn't recognize him, "He's not here. What can I do for you."  
  
"Where did he put my top?" Lum asked.  
  
*She only has one set of clothes?* "Um, I wouldn't know where my brother keeps stuff like that, you'd have to ask him." Ranma lied.  
  
"Where is he then." Lum asked angrily.  
  
*Think quick Ranma.* "He uh, said something about training all night by running around Tokyo." Ranma said lamely.  
  
"Grrrrr. I'll find him!" Lum flew off into the night.  
  
*Geez, she's almost as gullible as Shampoo.* Ranma thought as he prepared for bed.  
  
The next morning found all four Ranmas arguing heatedly.  
  
"Dr. Tofu confirmed it. We're stronger together, we should combine to go after Lum." Ranma argued.  
  
Rei shook his head, "And when people wonder why our hair isn't red? I tell you I can do this!"  
  
Nabiki came downstairs rubbing her eyes, "I've heard of talking to yourself but this is ridiculous."  
  
"You can't talk him into this Ranma, he's as stubborn as the rest of us. Perhaps more so because he's more emotional about it. So unless you wanna force him into it, you gonna take away our right to choose? Last I heard we were all equal decision makers unless that's changed." Ranko accused.  
  
"No it's not like that at all. We're just being rational about it. The whole fate of the earth is at stake and we just want to improve our chances as much as possible." Red replied.  
  
"I don't need your help. I already have a plan, remember?" Rei said.  
  
"You call that a plan? Fine, I'll see you in the salt mines or where ever they put their slaves after an invasion." Ranma threw his hands up in disgust and walk away.  
  
Ranko turned and placed her hand on Rei's shoulder, "I know you can do this. I have a lot of money riding on you today so don't let me down."  
  
Akane came in from her morning jog and smiled at Rei. Her smile faltered a bit and became less sincere when it was directed at Ranko. Whether Ranko noticed or not she didn't let on. Akane walked up and kissed Rei on the forehead, "Good luck today. I'm counting on you."  
  
Rei almost died from hemorrhaging but stopped the nosebleed with a handkerchief. His mind was whirling with emotion. *She loves me! She wished me good luck! I swear I'm gonna marry that woman then she'll be mine forever! * He got a dreamy look to his face as Ranko dragged him out and down to the market.  
  
Rei was at his starting place mumbling something over and over. Ranko couldn't make it out but figured next time they merged she'd get the whole story. She smirked, Everything they did or said was like an open book to her. From Red's increasing femininity and insecurity to Ranma's growing infatuation with Akane, she knew it all.  
  
The lightning bolt shot into the air and Rei and Lum quickly fell into the familiar chase of the last two days. It appeared that Rei was wearing out from all the activity he'd been through recently. Finally he stopped and stood in the middle of the street breathing heavily. Lum hovered nearby but out of reach.  
  
Rei seemed to smirk a little as he reached into his shirt and pulled out Lum's bikini top. "You looking for this?" He taunted tiredly.  
  
Lum's eyes got big and she flew forward to snatch it from his grasp figuring he was too tired to resist. As soon as she had a grip on the top however Rei yanked on the top pulling Lum over his head and dropping her on the hard road with a bone jarring thud. All signs of fatigue disappeared as Rei leapt forward and grabbed Lum in a deathgrip. It suddenly became apparent what he had been mumbling as he started to shout it as he reached for Lum's horns, "I will marry her. I will marry her." Over and over.  
  
Rei grabbed Lum's horn and stood up shouting, "Do you hear me world? I will marry her!"  
  
There was an uproar as the gathered crowd cheered their champion. Lum's father approached Rei and his daughter. "You wish to marry her? I approve, welcome to the family son."  
  
Ranko face faulted. She had finally figured out who Rei had been shouting about and had now gone and gotten himself engaged again but this time it was his own damn fault.  
  
Lum glomped Rei, "Darling!" she cried.  
  
Rei sighed, *Maybe this is almost as good as Akane. *  
  
Ranko shook her head in denial, *This is not according to plan. I need to talk to the others now and try to get this under control. * She ran off in the direction of Furinkan High. 


End file.
